8 matrons a-spanking

I haven’t really been affected by the unbearable heat this summer … well, except for the sloshing crevice between my cheeks where I found George Clooney desperately trying to extract his fishing vessel from the torrent. Anyhoo, there’s apparently been a couple brush fires popping up, that have threatened homes and wildlife and Mia Love’s skin tone … OK, that was just wrong, sorry! I guess the heat is affecting my good sense a little. Ummm, winter?!!?

20friday Every third Friday of the month, there’s a fundraising evening of bingo hosted by camp-drag troupe, The Matrons of Mayhem. Here’s the lowdown on how Third Friday Bingo came to be: It’s the one window of the month through which co-hostess Ruby Ridge throws out her “special visitor” and joins society. The rest of the month she’s under her Strawberry Patch bedsheets sucking on otter pops and bawling at episodes of MTV’s Teen Mom. This month, The Matrons will raise funds for the YWCA shelter while sharing belly-dancing tips and brassiere styles for today’s active, full-bodied ladies. Don’t fret, they also give away fabulous prizes.
7pm, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. Bingo cards are $5.

21saturday   In 1996, at the age of 19, Fiona Apple released her debut album, which has since gone triple Platinum. Two years later she snagged a Grammy for her smash-hit single “Criminal.” However, it’s been seven years since her last album, but it seems not to have hurt her career. Released June 19, 2012, the new album, The Idler Wheel, debuted at No. 3 on the Billboard 200. Check her out in concert tonight, I bet it’ll be like having a piece of sweet apple pie.
7:30pm, Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, UofU. Tickets $45–65, 801-581-7100 or kingstix.com.

27friday  Two childhood friends grapple with religion, sexuality and adulthood in Adam & Steve and the Empty Sea by Matthew Greene, which will receive its world premiere during Plan-B’s 2012-13 season. In advance of that production, a staged reading will be held featuring the cast that will perform in the full production — Topher Rasmussen and Logan Tarantino — as part of OUTReach’s first annual LGBTQ Youth Summit.
1pm, Sheperd Union Bldg., Weber State University, Ogden; and 11am, Saturday, Olpin Student Union Bldg., UofU campus. Free to Youth Summit and Sunstone Symposium attendees, or $8 at the doors. For more info, visit planbtheatre.org.

28saturday Back by popular demand, Broadway Rocks adds four top-notch vocalists — LaKisha Jones, Rob Evan, Morgan James and Doug LeBrecque — to the Utah Symphony, performing selections from many of your favorite modern Broadway shows. In the spotlight are songs from rock-inspired hit musicals such as Mamma Mia, Tommy, Phantom of the Opera, Rock of Ages, Jersey Boys, Dreamgirls, and Rent. The lovely Jerry Steichen conducts.
7:30pm, Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr. S, Park City. Tickets $32–85, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Doing their own rendition of the song “Mama Mia” is Arrival — The Music of ABBA. They are considered, in some circles, one of the best tribute bands out there, sharing an experience like no other. Hey, I just realized ABBA spelled backward is BABA, that’s K-OA! Anyhoo, I hear the band fuses two ABBA songs together called “Does Your Mother Know You’re A Dancing Queen.” Ooooo, scandalous.
8pm, Sandy Amphitheater, 9400 S. 1300 East. Tickets $15–25, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.

31tuesday  A straight Mormon deejay who loves the gay scene … how refreshing and hinky all at the same time, sort of like a Skip and Go Naked. Kaskade returns to Utah, yet again, to bring a little “freak of nature” to Park City. Ten years on the scene, Kaskade knows how to set the vibe for a wet-n-wild night.
9pm, Park City Live (formerly Harry O’s), 427 Main St., Park City. Tickets $50, 801-467-8499 or smithstix.com.

You may have seen this cute boy in Shortbus or Holding Trevor (and you can soon catch him in his new flick Kiss of the Damned), but not only is Jay Brannan an actor, he’s also a singer-songwriter. He describes his music as “the sound of the angry, sad woman.” No wonder he’s on the soundtrack of Olympia Dukakis’ new lesbian flick, Cloudburst. Just sayin’! ReRea opens.
7pm, Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West. Tickets $13, 24tix.com.

3friday Every year I try to buy a unique piece of artwork at the Park City Kimball Arts Festival. There’s usually something made with fabulous feathers or glamorous glitter or nude dudes, but then I find myself not being able to buy groceries for a month. So, I basically spend 30 days or so staring at my new handblown Judy Garland tea set or whatever, wishing I had something to put in it. But, I’ll keep going back because it’s just great fun!
Hours vary, through Aug. 5, Historic Main St., Park City. Tickets: $10 weekend pass, parkcitykimballartsfestival.org.

4saturday  Plan-B Theatre Company presents the Utah premiere of 8 by Dustin Lance Black (Academy Award-winning screenwriter of Milk and the 2012 Pride Parade Grand Marshal). Presented as a reading, part of Plan-B’s Script-In-Hand Series, 8 is a docudrama inspired by the passage of Proposition 8 in California and the ensuing federal case for marriage equality. The performances include a post-show discussion with Black and Congressman Barney Frank. Also, a special photographic exhibit by Jim Ready, Frank’s longtime partner and now husband, will be on display.
8pm & Sunday, 2pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $25, 801-355-ARTS or arttix.org.

5sunday  It’s that time again to paint Lagoon red. QSaltLake’s Gay Lagoon Day (the Gay is silent, though) returns with another raucous group of homos screaming bloody mary on the Log Flume and in the public bathrooms. Ah, good times, good times! Don’t forget there will be a group photo around 4pm-ish at the Pioneer Pavilion. Q Lagoon Day T-shirts, that Michael modeled so alluringly on Facebook, are for sale for $15 at the Q Towers office.
11am–10pm, Lagoon, 375 Lagoon Dr., Farmington. Tickets $35.95 with discount coupon, call 801-649-6663 for coupons.

If your heart just can’t take the terrifying rides like The Bat and Gene Gieber, or if you prefer a loving brunch nestled in a beautiful garden, then partake in the annual Sage Garden Party. SAGE Utah is a program of the Utah Pride Center dedicated to enhancing the lives of LGBT adults aged 50+ in our community. Now, don’t think this will only be blood-pressure testing and gin rummy — I’ve heard they have activities like Jell-O wrestling, skeet shooting and beer pong. Damn girl, if this true I can’t wait to turn 50!
10:30am–1:30pm, Memorial House in Memory Grove, 300 E. Capitol Blvd. Tickets $40, registration required at utahpridecenter.org or call 801-539-8800.

10friday  The sixth annual Women’s Redrock Music Festival includes, along with fabulous female musicians, a songwriters workshop conducted by Adrienne Gonzalez and Natalia Zuckerman. The lineup of artists includes American Idol’s Crystal Bowersox, Raining Jane, Toby Beard, Deb Graham Band and Shannon McNally. Enjoy great entertainment in the high desert of Utah.
6–11pm & Saturday, Noon–11pm, Robber’s Roost, 185 W. Main St., Torrey. Tickets $25–60, redrockwomensfest.com or email redrockvolunteer@gmail.com.

The men of debauchery are back … in leather and harnesses and military boots. Gene just had his harness buffed and polished, so take heed all you submissive types, there’s a masochistic sparkle in his eye. The Utah Rebellion, in its seventh year, will host a Dark Spaces Play Party, Rebel Run in East Canyon, Alley Fair and a bar party. For the schedule, hours and registration to the play party, visit utahrebellion.com.
Hours vary, Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South. Tickets $15 to the play party and $5 to the Alley Fair, available at utahrebellion.com.

12sunday  An emo-pop, punk band from Stillwater, Okla., The All-American Rejects was formed, in 1999, by Tyson Ritter and Nick Wheeler, high school buddies. Since that time, the band have released four studio albums, and sold a combined four million copies. You may remember such hits as “Move Along” and “Gives You Hell.” These boys are touring, promoting the new album Kids in the Street, and it should be a fun, high-energy show. EVE6 opens.
7pm, Deer Valley Snow Park Amphitheater, 2250 Deer Valley Dr. S, Park City. Tickets $35–65, 435-655-3114 or ecclescenter.org.

upcoming events
Sept. 28-29
Moab Pride Festival
@Old City Park, Moab
Oct. 9
Kimbra
@The Depot
Nov. 4
Morrissey
@Kingsbury Hall
Nov. 17
Lisa Lampanelli
@Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover

Recommend to friends
  • gplus
  • pinterest

About the Author

Leave a comment