I don’t want to give you the birdie, so get your registration in for this fabulous albeit frustrating game. Birdie is the only golf term I know so I looked up more and I have decided this sport to be quite erotic: ball-washer, banana-ball, sandbagger, hole-in-one (Okay, I also knew that one), bump and run, handsy, sweet-spot, dimples, topped, whiff, foursomes and zinger. Who wouldn’t love it!
10Saturday — Utah Pride Center Golf Classic
Stonebridge Golf Club, 4415 Links Dr., WVC, 7am-2pm. Tickets $100, utahpridecenter.org
What can I say about the concerts this month other than the Utah Symphony takes on two world-renowned composers’ greatest works. And Cyndi Lauper … well, that wild-haired betch is just plain fabulous. Then comes Tegan and Sara, a deliciously devious duo of dopplegangers. Enjoy!
9Friday — Beethoven & Tchaikovsky
Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 7:30pm, through Saturday. Tickets $15-65, artsaltlake.org
20Tuesday — Cyndi Lauper
The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 8pm. Tickets $54.50 Adv/$59.50 Day Of Show, smithstix.com
22Thursday — Tegan & Sara
In The Venue, 219 S. 600 West, 6:30pm. Tickets $36 Adv/$39 Day Of Show, smithstix.com
Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company presents three “diverse interdisciplinary works that blur the lines between traditional dance performance, visual art installation, and theater.” The works include two world premieres; one of which is created by the company’s Artistic Director, Daniel Charon, in memory of the Orlando shooting victims.
Repertory Dance Company then presents an evening of “stunning contemporary RDT commissions. A ground-breaking world premiere by Daniele Agami of aTE9 dANCE cOMPANY will be paired with a re-staging of “By the Snake” (2013) by Noa Zuk.” Also premiering is a commission by Andy Noble, a former RDT dancer and winner of the REGALIA choreographer competition last season.
15Thursday — Fall Season
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through Sep. 17. Tickets $15-40, artsaltlake.org
29Thursday — Elan
Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 7:30pm, through Oct. 1. Tickets $15-30 Adv/$20-35/Day Of Show, artsaltlake.org
Do you remember the scathing scandal that ripped across America? Okay, there seems to be one every other day, especially with Donald Duck Trump constantly in the glaring, unflattering spotlight (then again, nothing flatters Trump including his plagiarizing wife). But I am talking about Laura Albert, aka JT LeRoy, the woman who wrote acclaimed books while posing as an HIV-positive ex-prostitute transgender male. A second recount of this strange and altering story hits the big screen this month.
23Friday — Author: The JT LeRoy Story
Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org
The Salt Lake Men’s Choir tributes the 15th anniversary of 9/11, featuring “all types of American music.” Special guest will be Sen. Jim Dabakis. Music includes Aaron Copeland’s Stomp Your Foot, music from John Denver, Kurt Bestor, folk music and more.
The Reduced Shakespeare Company “tackles such controversial questions as: Who really discovered America? Why did Abe Lincoln free the slaves? How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?” Well, being from Utah and all I knew the answers right off: Some Mormon prophet; so that one day black people could hold higher ranking in the LDS Church; and lastly, it takes only one. However, Mormon Republicans don’t use light bulbs because they aren’t allowed to screw things in their garments.
9Friday — We Remember: A Patriot Day Salute
First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, 7:30pm, through Saturday. Tickets $15, brownpapertickets.com
24Saturday — A Complete History of America (Abridged)
Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Cir., UofU, 7:30pm. Tickets $19-29, kingtix.com
Wasatch Theatre Company presents a regional premiere about a town in Idaho … I don’t even know where Idaho is, but I hear they don’t use light bulbs. Not only is the setting Idaho, but also inside a Hobby Lobby. WTF is that!!??!
The Egyptian Theatre Company is going flamboyantly drag-esque this month while Pioneer Theatre Company puts a little bee in their bonnet, presenting “The Last Ship,” with music and lyrics by Sting. “Drawing on his own childhood memories, pop icon Sting has fashioned a moving musical about the small shipbuilding town in northern England in which he grew up.”
1Thursday — A Bright New Boise
Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 8pm, through Sep. 17. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org
9Friday — La Cage aux Folles
Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St, Park City, times vary, through Sep. 18. Tickets $29-55, egyptiantheatrecompany.com
16Friday — The Last Ship
Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, Uof U, times vary, through Oct.1. Tickets $40-67, artsaltlake.org
Oct. 8, 2016 Maroon 5, smithstix.com
Oct. 15, 2016 Ani DiFranco, smithstix.com
Nov. 4, 2016 RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8 Winner: Bob The Drag Queen, 24tix.com