Tony’s Gay Agenda

CONCERTS

On Tuesdays, ariana hunt for a taco grande like me? If so, like me on Wednesday mornings, ariana the commode waiting for a grande San Francisco spillway? Well, this Tuesday is an Ariana Grande concert that is sure to erupt the lipstick lesbians and gay dudes spillways. Enjoy!

21Tuesday — Ariana Grande

Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 S. Temple. Tickets $26.95-196.95, artsaltlake.org

DANCE/BALLET

Ballet West presents Joshua Jones starring in the lead role he was made for: “The Little Mermaid.” Unfortunately there aren’t any clam shells large enough to cover his tostada grandes. Please don’t give us too much graying lettuce!

30Thursday — The Little Mermaid

Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, times vary, through April 2. Tickets $15-35, artsaltlake.org

MOVIES

Cannes you believe it, hottie Gael Garcia Bernal is playing Nobel prize-winning Chilean poet Pablo Neruda in the international film “Neruda”?? He’s totally Mozart playing in my jungle!!

And for you ginger-loving lesbians, the remarkable Jessica Chastain builds a wall along the borders of Warsaw, Poland to protect Jews and animals from Donald Trump’s (I can’t call him president!) reign as Twittler.

10Friday — Neruda

Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

31Friday — The Zookeeper’s Wife

Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South, times vary. Tickets $6.75-9.25, saltlakefilmsociety.org

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

Season 8 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” brought in *Trans Steve McQueen and … well, Thor. Most likely the best Super Powers to hopefully bring down Trumpalina. Work it girls!!

Black Grace” is New Zealand’s leading contemporary dance company, fusing Pacific and contemporary dance in an extraordinary and dynamic form. Neil draws from his Samoan and New Zealand roots to create innovative works that reach across social, cultural and generational barriers.” I hope they have Visas … the credit card that is, you pessimists!

4Saturday — RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 8: Thorgy Thor & Laila McQueen,

Metro Music Hall, , 9pm. 615 W. 100 South. Tickets $15, smithstix.com

22Wednesday — Black Grace

Kingsbury Hall, 111 Presidents Cir., UofU, 7:30pm. Tickets $20-30, kingtix.com

THEATRE

I thought Plan-B Theatre Company’s new play was a parody on us not crying anymore about our supposed leader, but as I considered it, I became elated by shopping freely at Nordstrom, and humored by believing Sean Spicer is likely shedding a tear that a known Hebrew’s clothing line will likely be retailed only at outlets in Mexico.

23Thursday — Not One Drop

Studio Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, times vary, through April 2. Tickets $20, artsaltlake.org

UPCOMING EVENTS

June 10, Anderson Cooper & Andy Cohen, artsaltlake,org

June 20-25, 2017 Dirty Dancing, artsaltlake.org

Aug. 1-20, The Book of Mormon, artsaltlake.org

Dec. 14, Lady Gaga, smithstix.com

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